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Rudraksha Science
Ashtavinayak Darshan
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THEM
SMS
SMS
SMS
Nishana jo le wo survir,
Nishane pe lag jaye wo teer,
Dil me jo utar jaye wo Tasvir,
Aap jaise dosto ka sath mil jaye woh Taqdir
Samundar jaisa syllabus hain,
Talab jitna sikhaya jata hain,

Balti bhar jitna yaad aata hain,
Mug jitna likha jata hain,

Aur boond jitne marks milte hain!
Panjabi ladke ladkio ko is tarah parpose karte hai-
Pipal da boota hove te ganne da ras hove,
j mera vas hove te teri maa meri sass hove.
One day Santas Girlfriend asks him, Darling, om our Engagement will you give me a RING?Santa:Ya sure, Give me ur Telephone No.
no visits...

no calls..

no sms's...

no letters...

no missed calls..

I'm worried...

kya hua zoo waalon ne dobara pakad liya kya?
Nishana jo le wo SURVIR,
Nishane pe jo lag jaye wo TIR,
Dil me jo utar jaye wo TASVIR,
Mere Jaise Dost ki saath mil jaye wo ACHI TAQDIR...
Aapke haath me
mobile hai..

Chehere pe khubh c
smile hai...

SMS ki aChchi khasi
File hai...

Phir bhi
SMS nahi karte...

yaar, yeh kaun sa
stupid style hai??

SORRY Dont get confused, arey baba 'SORRY' means
S - SOME O - ONE'S R - REALLY,
R - REMEMBERING  Y - YOU.
Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge
Kitna bhi chaho na bhol paoge
Hum se jitna dur jao nazdik pao ge
Humein mita sakte ho to mita do
yaadein meri, magar..
kya sapno se juda kar pao ge humein.
Is kadar hum yaar ko manane nikle, uski chahat ke hum deewane nikle, jab bhi use dil ka haal batana chaha, to uske hothon se waqt na hone ke bahane nikle...

Day by day teri khusiya ho jaye Double,
Teri zindagi se delete ho jaye sare Trouble,
Khuda rakkhe humesha tujhe Smart & Fit,
Tera liye New Year ho Super-Duper Hit!!
Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.
Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.


A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.
Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.


Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

Medical Shayari
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!
When you breathe, you respire!
Wah Wah!

When you don't breathe, you expire!
Wah Wah, kya baat hai!



Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"

Hamara har lamha chura liya aapne, aankhon ko ik chand dikha diya aapne. Hamein zindagi to di kisi aur ne, par pyaar itna dekar jeena sikha diya aapne.


Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.


Zindagi mein hamesha naye dost milenge, kahi zyada to kahin kum milenge. Aitbaar zara soch kar karna, mumkin nahi tumhe har jagah HUM milenge.


Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".
Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.



Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!



Media: Prince, bahar aa kar acha lag raha hai?
Prince: Kya acha lagega? Andar choclate thi, pastry thi, milk badam tha. Thodi der aur ruk jaate shayad Bipasha bhi aa jati.


Dard jitna saha jaye utna hi sehna, Kisi ke dil ko jo lag jaye vo baat na kehna, Milte hain hamare jaise dost bahut kam, Isline humse 'Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna'


Woh nadiyan nahi aansu they mere, jinpar woh kashti chalate rahe.
Manzil mile unhein yeh chahat thi meri, isliye hum aansu bahate rahe.


Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.


Tujhe bhoolkar bhi na bhool payenge hum, Bas yahi ek wada nibha payenge hum.
Mita denge khud ko bhi jahan se lekin, Tera naam dil se na mita payenge hum..


Ye pyari nigahein yaad rahengi, milkar na milne ki ada yaad rahegi, mumkin nahi ki main tumhe bhula dun, aur umar bhar tumhe bhi meri yaad rahegi.
4 roses, just for you!
1st for Friendship.
2nd for Wealth.
3rd for Happiness.

and the last one..

Kaan ke upar laga lena, mast lagega.


Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.


Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Kal kare so aaj kar, aaj kar so ab. Abey karta hi rahega to dhoyega kab?

In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.
Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW


Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye



Girl: Will u marry me?
Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se


Ek baar Santa Gangubai ke ghar jaata hai aur darwaza knock karta hai.
Gangubai: Kaun ?
Santa: Main !
Gangubai: Main kaun?
Santa: Tu Gangubai


Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Ek ladka ek ladki k saath baitha tha. 2nd day doosri ladki k saath deha gaya. 3rd day koi aur ladki thi. 4th day kisi nayi ladki ke saath tha
Moral: Ladkiyan badal jaati hain, ladke nahin badaltey


Baba ji ka mela laga hai haridwar mein. Prashad mein Recharge Coupon diye jayenge. Kisi aur ko mat batana. Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha hai


Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.


Lamhe ye suhane saath ho na ho, kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho, aapka pyar hamesha is dil mei rahega, chahe poori umar mulaqat ho na ho..


Tum mujhe kabhi dil kabhi aakhon se pukaro, Ye hothon ke taqaluf to zamane ke liye hain.


Dosti insan ki zaroorat hai, dilon pe dosti ki huqumat hai, aap ke pyar ki wajah se zinda hain warna khuda ko bhi hamari zaroorat hai.


Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, BETA hua BETA. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, Itís a gal


Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
Banta: Apple khane.
Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.


Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.



Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paudhe thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.


Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.


Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 Watt bulb.
Santa asked him: What are you doing?
Pappu: Aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.


Santa to Pappu: Where's Sukhna Lake?
Pappu: Pata nahi.
Santa: Kabhi ghar se bhi nikla karo.
Pappu: Who's Banta?
Santa: Pata nai.
Pappu: Kabhi ghar me bhi raha karo.

Ummido ki shama dil mein mat jalana.... huzefa se alag duniya mat basana... waise aaj mood main hu to sms kar diya par roz intezaar mein palke mat bichana.


Tu dekh ya na dekh, tere dekhne ka gham nahi, par teri ye na dekhne ki ada dekhne se kam nahi..

Is se pehle ki dilo me nafrat jaage, aao ek shaam mohabbat me bita di jaye.... Karke kuch mohabbat ki baatein, Is shaam ki masti badha di jaye.


Unhe yeh shikwa hai ki hum unhe yaad karte hi nahi, par unhe ye kaun samjaye ki hum unhe yad kaise kare jinhe hum bhoolte hi nahi.

Sms har pal karu to shararat hogi, har din karu to paresani hogi, kabhi kabaar karu to kanjusi hogi, par dil se karu toh aapko khushi hogi.
School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha: Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo, thodi hum karte hain, bachcha to nikal hi jayega...!


A B C D E F G H I . . . . . . . . . . . U V W X Y Z.. Dekha I aur U ke beech mein jo bhee aaya sabko tapka diya...

INDIA KI REET... Ladki agar apni marzi se de de to PYAAR... Agar Dost Dilwaye to UPHAR... Ghar wale dilwaye to SANSKAR... aur agar apne aap lele to... BaLaTkAar...


Sali: Jija ji 500 rs. dedo, agley hafte doongi...
Jija: 1500 lele par abhi de..

Aaj, kal, harpal, har samay, har vaqt, maheno, salo saal se ek DIL tumhare liye dhadakta tha aur dhadakta rahega aur wo DIL hai ur's own DEAR.


Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga... pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun.. phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga...



Arz kiya hai... tuhaar chehraa moti samaan... tuhaar chehraa moti samaan... moti hamaar kutte ka naam.

Manzil ki taraf badte chalo. Jo Dil kahe usi raah ko chuno. Peeche walo ko aage na aane do aur jo aage hain unse aage niklo. Tabhi ek achhe TRUCK DRIVER banoge!


Kabhi hausla bhi aazmana chahiye, bure waqt me muskurana chahiye... Jab 7ve din mein khujli ho to 8ve din nahaa lena chahiye..

Tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
Ek to jhel liya dusra aaya to kayamat hogi.

Tu chand mange me chand dedu, tu raat mange me raat dedu, tu dil mange me dil dedu, tu jaan mange... Bas yaar Bhik mangne ki bhi ek limit hoti hai..

INDIA Ko
Aazaad Hue 57
Sal
Hue
Phir Bhi
No PROGRESS!
why? Kyunki Aaj
Bhi
INDIA Ki
Bholi Janta
KAAM-DHANDHA
Chhod Kar
hamara SMS padh
rahi hai...


Taste dis SMS
Did u feel da taste of ginger?
No?
Sure?
Well.....
BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!


Aisa DOSTANA hamara, Mai KASHTI tu kinara, Mai DHANUSH tu teer, Mai MATAR tu paneer, Mai VARSHA tu badal, Mai RAJMA tu chawal, Mai HOT tu cool, Mai APRIL tu....?

Abe Khajur, Zoo se bhaage hue Langur, abe Sade hue Kele ke Chhilke,
Chuse hue Aam, Circus k Retired Bander,
(Aisa kisi ko na kehna Feel hota hai).


U r Ultimate
U r Lovely
U r Likable
U r Unique
In short ......
U r ULLU !!!



Yeh sulagata jism, Yeh kamp Kampate Honth, Yeh Thartharata bua badan, Yeh ladkhadati aawaz, Mujhe pahle hi pata tha ki tumhe MALARIA hai.

Tum haste raho, nachte raho, muskurate raho, sada khil khilate raho, khush raho aur gungunate raho, mera kya hai, log tumhe hi pagal samzhenge....


Aey item kya kar kar rela hai, teri bahut memory arela tha, akha world me apun ko ekich to tere jaisa item friend mila. Miss to karegaich he na. Chal reply chipka daal.

Flowers+butterfly = A beautiful scene.
Stars+moon = A romantic night.
Rain+monsoon = A lovely weather.
U+ur smile = Bhaago Bhoot aaya.

Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna

Lady drinking coke, machhar falls in. Lady takes it out, machhar says "MAA"! Lady asks why did you call me "MAA"? machhar says, "Main teri coke se nikla hoon, MAA!"..


Kabar ki mitti utha ke le gaya koi, isi bahane humein choo kar chala gaya koi, tanhayi aur andhere mein khush they hum, lekin phir se intezaar karne ki wajah de gaya koi..

Ek bus mein ladko aur ladkiyo ki team bani antakshari khelne ke liye.
Girls: Hum tumko harakar dikhayenge..
Boys: Hum haar gaye, chalo ab dikhao.

Na kabhi muskurahat tere hothon se duur ho..

Teri har khwahish haqiqat ko manzoor ho..

Ho jaye jo tu mujhse khafa..

Khuda na kare mujhse kabhi aisa kasoor ho..

Aapki dosti ki ek nazar chahiye, Dil hai beghar usey ek ghar chahiye, bas yuhin saath chalte raho e dost, Yeh dosti humein umar bhar chahiye...
Lamha lamha waqt guzar jayega
saat pheron ke saath koi tumse bandh jayega. Abhi bhi waqt hai kisi se affair kar lo
kya pata kal kaun sa model tumhe saunpa jayega..


Wife: Kya kar rahe ho?
Man: Makkhiya maar rha hu.
Wife: Kitni mari?
Man: 3 male aur 2 female.
Wife: Kaise malum?
Man: Kyonki 3 daru ki botal se chipki thi or 2 phone se...

Sabhi ko sabh kuch nahi milta, nadi ki har lehar ko sahil nahi milta, yeh dil walon ki dunia hai dost, kisi se dil nahi milta to koi dil se nahi milta.

Hamaare to daaman mein kaanto ke siva kuch nahin. Aap to phoolon ke kharid-daar nazar aate hain. Jahan mein kitne dost mile hume par sabse ache aap nazar aate hain..

Lady doctor: tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar aurto ko kyon ghurte ho?

Santa: ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai "aurton ko dekhne ka samay subah 10 se 12".

Tum banke dost aise aye zindagi me, ke hum ye zamana hi bhool gaye, tumhe yaad aye na aye hamari kabhi, par hum to tumhe bhulana hi bhool gaye.


Mohabbat mein laakhon zakham khaye humne, afsos unhe hum par aitbar nahi, mat pucho kya gujarti hai dil par, jab vo kehte hai hame tumse pyar nahi..

Jaane yeh kaisa naata hai, bas tera naam hi aata hai zubaan par, din ya raat me, le ke tera haath haath mein, rahunga tere saath saath main.

Andhere me rasta banana mushkil hota hai. Tufan mein deepak jalana mushkil hota hai. DOSTI kisi se bhi kar lena mushkil nahi, Ise bas nibhana mushkil hota hai..


Apki dosti Ki ek nazar chahiye, dil hai beghar use ek ghar chahiye, bas yuhi sath chalte raho e dost, yeh dosti hamein umar bhar chahiye..


Lamhe ye suhane saath ho na ho, kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho, aapka pyar hamesha is dil mei rahega, chahe poori umar mulakat ho na ho..


Husband aur wife hotel me gaye tabhi 1 lady ne
Hello kiya,
Wife- koun thi wo?
Hus-Tum dimag kharab mat karo, main pehle hi pareshan hu ki woh bhi Yehi puchegi.

Hasta huya dekh kar log kehte hain ke hum gam se khali hain, par unhe kya pata ke jo gam ke baag hain, hum us baag ke mali hain..

Masterji: kal school kyu nahi aaya.
Santa: Gir gaya tha or lag gayi.
Masterji: kahan gire, kahan lagi?
Santa: Takiye pe gira tha aur AANKH lag gayi..

Santa & banta sending sms 2 their gfs. Santa:mai tere mobile se apni gf ko sms bheju dekhte hain kya kahti hai? Banta: No, agar usne handwriting pehchan li to...?

Aasman humse naraaz hai....,taaron ka gussa behisab hai.. Log humse jalte hain.. Kyunki chand se pyara DOST hamare paas hai


Zuban khamosh, ankhon me nami hogi,

Yahi bas ek dastan-e-zindagi hogi,

Bharne ko to har zakham bhar jayega,

kaise bharegi wo jagah jaha Teri kami hogi.

Ye dosti chirag hai ise jalaye rakhna,ye dosti gul hai ise khilaye rakhna,hum rahe na rahen is jahan me bas hamari yaad dil me basaye rakhna.


Burraaah......


Sara syllabus padh liya...


Bas books aur notes padhne reh gaye hain...

You are a GHONCHU..

G-reat
H-ot
O-ne in million
N-aughty
C-ute
H-umble
U-nique

Zyada khush mat ho, hai to tu ghonchu hi...


Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai....

Fuddu se yaad aaya

Kaisa hai tu..!!
Which are the 2 latest versions of java.

Think... think... think...

Marjava & Mitjava


Tajmahal ki imarat her aashiq ko mohabbat ki misaal nazar aati hai. Main kis kis ke liye taj banwaun mujhe to her ladki mumtaz nazar aati hai.

Teri doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga. Tere sath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga. Jab bhi bhulane ki koshish ki. Tu dil ke aur karib aane laga.


Santa: Do you know English?
Banta: Yes
Santa: Ok! Then tell what is the opposite of NAAG PANCHAMI?
Banta: So simple Yaar... NAAG DO NOT PUNCH ME.



Jab bhi kisi ko kareeb paya hai, kasam khuda ki wahin dhokha khaya hai. Kyon dosh dete hein hum kanto ko... Zakham to humne phulo se paaya hai.


Karoge yaad ek din is pyar ke zamane ko, chale jayenge jab hum kabhi na vapas aane ko. Chalega mehfil me jab zikr hamara koi, to tum bhi tanhayi dhundoge aansu bahane ko.

Mohobbat ka imtihan aasan nahi; pyar sirf pane ka naam nahi. Muddatein beet jati hain kisi ke intezaar mein, ye sirf pal-do-pal ka kaam nahi.
Teri berukhi ko bhi rutba diya humne. Pyar ka har farz ada kiya humne. Mat soch ke hum bhool gaye hain tujhe; aaj bhi khuda se pehle tujhe yaad kiya humne.


Tanhai bhari zindagi ka safar mila; na saathi, na humsafar mila. Hum diya jalta chhod gaye the unke liye; jab vapis lote to jalta hua ghar mila.


Na jaane tum pe itna yakin kyon hai? Tera khayal bhi itna haseen kyon hai? Suna hai Pyar ka dard meetha hota hai; to aankh se nikla ye aansu namkeen kyon hai?


Dosti insaan ki zaroorat hai, dilon pe dosti ki hukamat hai aap k pyar ki wajah se zinda hain warna khuda ko bhi hamari zarorat hai..


Santa apni GF ko I love u kehta aur gir jata.

Girl: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?

Santa : I am falling in love.
,.,.,
( 'c' )
>' <
KEM-CHHO?




,.,.,
('c' )
>' <
MAJA MA CHHO?




,..,
c" .)
>' <
TABIYAT PANI?





OK !




Toh sms karo nee baba !!

fun is life , life is fun Enjoy.......